Thursday 29 September 2011

Personality development basics


Personality Development
Abu Bashar

Can you disagree with the fact that you have experienced fear of anything or any kind at least once in a lifetime? Every single person on this earth has felt fear at a certain point of time in his life. Though fear is an emotion that we would best like to avoid, it creeps up every once in a while. It is true that you cannot avoid fear, but you can certainly follow tips that will help you to remain level-headed in situations that can otherwise make you scared. Fear is the natural response of every human being when he is placed in a situation that he has not been waiting for or has not experienced before. Sometimes, a sense of shame and insecurity also leads to development of fear within a person’s mind. Fear is often the result of aggravated tensions and an agitated mind. It is very important to know the reasons of your fear if you have to overcome it. So to kill fear you have to first identify the source of that fear. Here are some tips to overcome fear.

Overcoming Fear
Understand Your Fear
Try to understand why you fear or what causes you to fear. Only when you have identified the source of your fear can you start on the process of overcoming it. You can start by listing all your fears on your notepad and then striking them off once you have overcome them.
Breathe Deep
Taking deep breaths when you are scared or worried helps you relax to a great extent. Make sure that you exhale longer than you inhale. Fear will automatically reduce since you will also calm down. This can also help you to think things out effectively. Breathing exercises can be practiced during meditation.
Chalk Out A Plan & Be Positive
Always have a plan for situations which may not bring you certain results. For instance, you may be afraid to attend an interview in fear of being rejected. You may also fear a date for similar reasons or may feel scared about losing your job as you do not know how life will be after that. But in all these situations, you can chalk out a plan beforehand, a plan which will bring you favorable results and thus kill all fears. Though plans do not work always, a positive attitude always does, therefore think positive in every walk of life.
Confront Your Fears
Many people are scared of something specific, like being in the dark or driving or swimming. If you too fall in the same category, make it a point to learn the thing that you fear doing. Even if you fail once or twice, don’t give up on your hope and practice hard to overcome your fear. Switch off the lights when you are alone in a room and see what happens. You can be assured that nothing is going to attack you! Once when you have confronted your fear by actually performing the same thing that you fear, you will successfully kill your fear.
Boost Up Confidence
Sometimes, fear is the result of extreme low belief in oneself and low confidence. Practice exercises which help to boost self confidence. For example, you can stand in front of the mirror and pretend to speak to a stranger, so that you do not have to fear mingling with a new group of people the next time you come across one. This exercise can also help you overcome stage fright.
Seek Medical Help
If nothing seems to be working for you and you still feel intermittently scared, there is no harm in seeking medical help, for who knows, after a couple of sessions, you might actually be able to ward off your fear. Nowadays, there are psychiatrists who help people to overcome their fear and shortcomings. However, resort to this, only when all the above have failed.
Do not feel afraid; always know that there is an end to every fear. Keep the scary ghosts at bay and enjoy life the way it is meant to be enjoyed!

Self esteem is based on how much a person feels valued and appreciated. We all mentally construct a self image based on our abilities, achievements, looks, interaction with people and our experience. This self image contributes to our self esteem. Agree or disagree, all of us have been a victim of low self esteem at some point or another in our life. Low self esteem can affect the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Read the article to know how you can give a boost to your self esteem and live your life to the fullest.
Boosting Self Esteem
Groom Yourself
As clichéd as it may sound, there is no denying the fact that looking good definitely does make you feel good. Dress up with extra care and make an effort to look nice. A good reflection in the mirror will always make you feel good about yourself. However, be sure not to attach too much importance to your external appearance. Attributes like confidence, warmth and social skills are far more influential than looks.
Kill Negative Thoughts
Most people focus on their shortcomings than their positives. If you are also one amongst those, it is high time you start thinking about your positive aspects. Don’t be too critical of yourself. Steer clear of negative self talk. Putting yourself down as a loser or failure will only hamper your ability to achieve your goals. You may get upset when things don’t go your way. However, don’t let it stop you from achieving your goals. Each day is a new beginning. If you had a bad day, just go to bed and wake up next morning with a fresh and focussed mind.
Set Personal Goals
Living an aimless life will make you feel empty and confused. A personal goal defines who you truly are and what you intend to accomplish in life. Decide what you want to achieve at your personal and professional front and slowly work towards these goals. It will give a sense of purpose to your life. Pat yourself on the back every time you achieve a goal, no matter how minor it may be. Accomplishing these goals will give your self esteem a big boost.

Realize Your Limits
You may not become an Olympic medalist or a pop singer, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t be successful. Remember, everybody is good at something. Experiment with different activities that will help you get in touch with your talents. Invest some effort into developing your interests and skills into your strengths. Realize that nobody is perfect, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. The key to success is not to overcome your weakness, but to develop your strengths to an extent that they can outweigh your weakness completely.
Celebrate Achievements
Give yourself full credit for your achievements and reward yourself. Don’t write-off the achievement as minor, because it may be a part of your bigger plans. Also, know that with that achievement in your kitty, you are one step closer to achieving your goal. Tell yourself repeatedly that you have tackled this obstacle in an appropriate way and that you can deal with other bigger and more demanding projects as well.
Stand Up For Yourself
There may be times when other people misjudge you and let their own insecurities get in the way of their reaction. Don’t distort your self image based on other person’s negative belief. Never allow others to make you feel inferior. Stand up for what you believe in. Voice your opinion and thoughts.
Get Active
Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Keep yourself busy. Take out that list of resolutions you gave up on and start working on them. Take up new hobbies - learn to dance or take up painting lessons. Keeping yourself active will give you no time for negative self talk.
Socialize
People with high self esteem generally have a large social circle and a busy social life. Start off by keeping yourself involved in activities that interests you. Join clubs or groups of similar interests. Frequently plan outing with your friends and family members. Being part of a community big or small will give you a sense of belonging and acceptance, thereby giving a boost to your self esteem.
Volunteer
Make a contribution to the society. Join a volunteering organization to help the less privileged. Volunteering will give you a sense of being part of a noble cause. The feeling of being appreciated and valued can do wonders for your self esteem.  Volunteering will help you improve your perception of self-worth.
Be Thankful For What You Have
Attributing considerable importance to certain goals and aspirations may also pose a problem. There may be period of setbacks when everything will not work out the way you have planned. Remember that life is governed by factors which aren’t entirely in your control. Don’t fret over what you don’t have and what you haven’t accomplished. Appreciate and acknowledge what you do have and be thankful for it.


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